How to deal with passive-aggressive colleagues

Ever had someone eye-roll at you? Respond to you with sarcasm, leaving you wondering if you said something wrong? Or how about the silent treatment triggered by a minor disagreement?

Establishing strong and healthy working relationships is essential for collaboration and the company's long-term success. However, what happens when working with a colleague who has resorted to passive-aggressive behaviours? They often harbour underlying discontent and express their frustrations in snarky comments and unwelcoming body language. 

The ambiguity of such actions poses a dilemma: how do we address these behaviours effectively? If left for too long, passive-aggressive behaviours may brew into serious conflicts at work and lead to possible bullying and harassment claims. 

In this article, we'll look at the warning signs and strategies for addressing passive-aggressive colleagues. 

What is passive-aggressive behaviour?

Passive-aggressive behaviour is a communication style. People may use this style to convey their dissatisfaction through indirect and subtly hostile behaviours instead of engaging in open discussions to address their concerns. This approach can make identifying and resolving conflicts challenging, as the issues are not directly communicated.

An example of how passive-aggressiveness may show up is if an employee is upset about a change to their roster. They might arrive consistently late or take longer breaks instead of communicating their genuine concerns to their line manager. Another example is if a typically productive and approachable employee suddenly displays passive-aggressive behaviour after a disagreement with someone. 

Passive-aggressive behaviours present many challenges that can affect overall employee engagement and productivity. Other ways it negatively manifests its way into the workplace are:

Poor teamwork: Often passive-aggressive colleagues are usually tricky to work with. As a result, other team members may hesitate to approach them about important matters or refrain from partnering with them on projects. 

Leaving matters unresolved: Passive-aggressive colleagues might be upset for a valid reason. However, because the issue is not communicated, it leaves the matter unresolved. 

Poor performance: Passive-aggressive colleagues often can't perform to the best of their abilities if they're preoccupied with an ongoing issue or can't adapt their behaviour to collaborate successfully.

How to navigate a passive-aggressive colleague

Here are some ways HR and line managers can help navigate tricky interactions and relationships with passive-aggressive colleagues.

1. Recognise the passive-aggressive behaviours

As the behaviour is subtle, familiarising yourself with the signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behaviour is important. When you know what to look for, you might notice certain behaviours in an individual or team. See how this behaviour impacts the working dynamics. 

2. Identify the underlying problem

This could be hard to diagnose, but often, an underlying issue causes people to act passive-aggressively. It could be a recent leadership change or performance review time. 

They might be concerned or worried about a situation or feel no one is listening. Consider asking if they want to share their thoughts or issues. Directly addressing the issue and helping that person work through it might benefit the relationship and help reduce some of those negative behaviours. Listen closely, understand what they're saying and ask questions when necessary to show you're listening and that you care.

3. Check in with the person from a position of care 

When dealing with a passive-aggressive employee, consider a different communication tactic. Rephrase negative or confrontational language to avoid a defensive reaction. 

Show them that you care and use positive reinforcement to show appreciation for them. At the same time, kindly express your concern regarding specific actions or behaviours. Remember to provide factual information about the situation and explain the impact of their actions. 

As this conversation may be uncomfortable, we recommend practising your talking points beforehand. Sometimes, our emotions can get the better of us now, and we could worsen the situation. 

4. Take responsibility

Consider whether you may be partly accountable for the passive-aggressive behaviours. Did you miss them out of crucial comms and make some excuse? Did you forget their birthday or work anniversary? 

Evaluate how you may have reacted in the past, which may have impacted someone. Observe how you respond to matters to see if you display signs of passive aggression, even if it is only very minor. We are all human, and we make mistakes.

When approaching them about the situation, show that you see how you may have acted in ways that were not productive. If you discover you've contributed to their behaviour, you may want to apologise and see what can be done to resolve the situation.

5. Set expectations on conduct

Passive-aggressive behaviours can sometimes seem trivial, that is until they become a big problem. 

If there is an ongoing theme with a team or department, leaders can enforce expectations equally among the team, for example, through team meetings. It could be a reminder of the company's values and ways of working. This could be an excellent first step. 

When you hold all team members to the exact expectations, you can engage them as individuals to understand better why they're acting a certain way. Ideally, passive-aggressive employees can change their behaviour when called out, but you also have to ensure your business operates responsibly. 

Over to you

Dealing with passive-aggressive behaviour in the workplace can be daunting.

HR professionals can be crucial in empowering and guiding leaders to take a proactive approach. This involves recognising the signs of such behaviour, identifying the underlying causes, and fostering open communication with empathy and care. Doing so can create a healthier and more productive work environment.